love live life proceed progress

Fuck My Fucking FUCKSHIT Life.

2008-07-10T06:48:00.000-07:00

im grounded for 3 weeks, im not going to go into details about that one but FUCKKKKKKK, i hate parents .. sometimes i just wish they wouldn't exist, like they can be there but not talk .. or act like they have important rules .. that would make me hate them less .. im so angry/sad/confused/hurt i don't even know what to do, like i can't even explain my feelings to my parents cause they just wouldn't even get that shit but you know what fuck them, im gonna just do what they say for the next week and hopefully they back off a bit because i can't be grounded for 3 weeks like i just can't : i don't see how its even possible for me to do that, like i dont want to be grounded for so long .. like i'd rather them take away my trip to toronto .. thats bad, but i really would.

all this for some guy .. REWIND im not about to lose my mind like i did 6 months ago and dedicate my whole soul to some dude whos just about to walk away anyways, im still going to toronto fuckit, but mannnn, i was feeling so happy for like that 3 hours ... fuck life . fuck lifeee ugh, this blog probably makes no sense to you fuckers but it makes sense to me cause im sad

:(

i need a fuckin huge ass bear hug right now, like forserious.

peace uglies.

Oh, Hey There Stranger

2008-07-09T08:39:00.000-07:00

so i haven't posted a new blog in what seems like years, and chelsie told me a while back that i should so this morning i woke up and thought eh what the fuck why not? .. i don't really like talking about my buisness so im not going to get into small details but i will talk about how well my summer has been going so far, because its been pretty damn good.

the past few summers i come online and just stick to the cs threads and chat with people and shit, but this summer i barley even log on, im usually outside and chillin with friends i think now that we're about to graduate this coming year everyone has pushed aside bullshit arguments and started to get along, i mean i still hate a few people but i just deal with them for the time being

i been talking to this guy and hes really nice we've gone out a few times and i like him, its cute. thats all i'll say about that .. if i wanted you to know more i've probably already told you about it :) yesterday i was pissed off as hell though my bestfriend was hanging out with some girl i really don't like .. no one likes her though to be straight up honest .. and then she was callin the dude i been talking to :\ while she was with this chick, who obviously likes the guy .. and im thinking to myself wtf bitch? but she never really is aware of what other people are thinking or feeling thats just who she is and really fuck her, because i wouldn't do that shit to her but whatever, im too nice im gonna start going back to how i was before .. just be mean to bitches

i haven't taken a new picture in ages, i probably look mad different to you whores .. nawt really im so lazy to charge the camera and stand there tryna be cute .. nah man i'll do it when i feel like it and have the time .. i bought fake eyelashes though thosse are fun ! well, they weren't fun yesterday when i was going to attempt to take pictures and thosse things were giving me a fuckin panic attack .. that fuckin glue all over my eyelid ugh, so i gave up.

but anyways i just rambled for a long ass time, i could probably keep on rambling but i'll save it for another time .. which probably will be another three months :) .. kidding ! i'll try and post more.

bye lovers.

if you are what you say you are

2008-04-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

ehhhh

so im getting a new job, finally .. i've been poor for way too long already.
im going to new york in 24 days
i bought some 200 dollar straightner, its the shit
i got new pumas .. well my dad bought them but still
i drank a bottle of wine on friday night
being single is the worst curse .. well for now
i got sony vegas pro 8
its confusing as shit, so i deleted it
i found a new favourite movie = prime?! YAH
crushspot is balls
everyone and their momma wants dreads .. don't ask why.
the hills came back on .. i love that white boy brody
oprah had a pregnant man on her show
i had a dream i was pregnant .. but not a man
i got new makeup!

other than that, life is .. cuteeee.

im backkkk

2008-03-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

finally i changed my friggin blog, mostly just because i was bored though, and i took new pictures yesterday and they're cute. that's all i dont really feel like blogging about anything interesting cause there is nothing interesting to blog about, i miss the boyfriend though ehhhhhh.

"and when im gone he'll miss it"

2008-02-12T14:23:00.000-08:00

ugh, wtf man.

i need to vent.

maybe, later

"8 months?! word, feels like forever"

2008-01-28T15:13:00.000-08:00

so it was me & the bews anniversary yesterday we just sat around watching movies all day and he helped me study a bit, i got him this sweater he said he wanted and he gave me this necklace its cutee, i'll post a pic of it later on

so i was talking to my bestie about it and he was all in shock that it had been that long "WTF Y'ALL ARE LIKE MARRIED" ... easyyyy not even close to that, he was tryna tell me that we were gonna be on some bobby and whitney shit pretty soon .. NAH i would never pull shit out someones ass i even hate it when he takes the phone in the bathroom with him and is pissin while talkin to me .. like wtf

but anyways we had good times over the 8 months if we make it to a year he said he was gonna throw a party .. i gave him the weirdest look "df we need a party for?" .. "I WANNA CELEBRATE MY LOVEEEE FOR YOUU" ... "nigga, that aint how the song goes" .. blahhh oh well i told him we better not fight all week cause that would be so lame and put me in a bad mood his ass tried to tell me i stay in a bad mood resulting in the first fight of the week, good job

ohhh weelll, i got love for him more than anyone will ever know i try to explain it to him but he just says whateverr and tries to one up me, but ion think he can ever beat how much i love him everrr EVERRRRRR, he even let me go out for dinner with my ex like wtf, then came and picked me up after and didnt ask one question .. "so you trust me like that huh?" .. "of course babe" .. so you just made me love you 39482093482904823 times more

so im in love, its great.

how bout you ?

your warmth is crashing down on me

2008-01-24T17:58:00.000-08:00

so i been tryna study but the bew is on the phone and refuses to stay quite so im reading all the endings to this french shit UGH i hate studying with a passion, i cant even concentrate for long enough to want to study blahhhhhhhh.

things have been actually pretty good lately, i have nothing to complain about except the fact that exams are right around the corner, because he has been keeping that goofy ass smile on my face :]

kinda distancing myself from other people though so i gotta stop that, jordan got mad at me last night when i told him i couldnt come to downtown cause i promised alys that i'd help her study french for a while, ughh dont know whats going on with him he stays getting mad at me lately

"weekend love is all that i could offer him so when i come back im more like a foreigner"

whatever im not trippin to hard over it because when he does it to me he acts like i cant say shit about it so fuck him for now, he can call me when hes a little on the calmer side cause i cant take his friggin drama ugh

I LOVE MY BEWZ.

me: k, i really need to study now
him: .... so i'll help love
me: NO YOUR A DISTRACTION
him: FINE i love you BYE
-click-

im mad he got all mad like FINE UGH then was all nice to me after, actually im not mad he made me smile so now all im gonna thing about is when am i gonna get a chance to call him back instead of studying UGH. k im bout to try LIKE SERIOUSLY THIS TIME ... :]

[mc lovin]chikka chikka yeahhh[/mc lovin]

PEACE&SHIT.

when he doin what he do he do it all for me

2008-01-20T10:53:00.000-08:00

jordan is like the BESTEST-ESTEST in the whole friggin wide world, i asked him to bun me last night since im so poor and he came all the way to my house lmao walked, in the damn cold bout "oh well, i was bored and i wasnt bout to smoke alone anyways" .. LIES ! he luhz me and then we ate chinese food and listened to some music on myspace, cause i needed new music for the ipod thennn he went home to get a movie so we could watch it and not be bored

but wtfuckly @ the movie though :\ that dude mr.brooks WAS FUCKED UP like killing people for fun & shit? who does that .. i definatley couldn't get to sleep last night cause of that so i kept talkin to jordan after a while he just ignored me and rolled over so i just sat there staring around in the dark .. like wtf, seriously though couldn't close my eyes without seein that dude comin to kill my ass .. or jordan turning all pshyco and killing me

i eventually fell asleep then this morning had to drive him home cause he was complaining bout "i had to walk all the way here then back to my house then alllll the way back" .. son of a lazy ass bitch, no one asked you to do all that ... its called a bus .. or a scooter LMAO i gave him my sisters pink scooter at first but he was like "cam, the wind will blow all in my face" what a big suck

OH WELLLLL , i had fun i was supposed to call nyjill this morning but i studied for a bit instead i should still be studying but im too lazy and came down here and bothered my sister for a while then i read jeanri's blog thennn i decided to write my own blog since i hadn't in a couple of days .. ugh exams on friday fuckin death ahshmell.

drey (19/01/2008 7:51:59 PM): :"
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:00 PM): :
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:02 PM): lmao
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:09 PM): now that straight face looks like it has a stick
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:11 PM): on its head
me (19/01/2008 7:52:11 PM): LMAO
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:24 PM): WEBDY WEBDY WEBDY
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:27 PM): - CHANTS LIKE INDIANDS
me (19/01/2008 7:52:22 PM): LMAO
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:34 PM): not that they say webdy
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:35 PM): or anything
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:36 PM): lmaoo
me (19/01/2008 7:52:29 PM): i was like
me (19/01/2008 7:52:31 PM): wtf is webdy.
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:42 PM): lmaooo
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:44 PM): you do that thing
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:46 PM): with your mouth
me (19/01/2008 7:52:41 PM): sounds like webbed feet.
drey (19/01/2008 7:52:52 PM): lmaoooooooooooooooooooooo

MAN I HEART DREY! even though hes a loser, who says hes gonna text me then 3423904 hours later actually does it gosh, "when i text canada i feel free" :\ lmfao pshyco.

BACKTOSTUDYING.

peace.

highly doubt this feeling is reversible

2008-01-16T15:23:00.000-08:00

so i'm moving on . . .

i'm back to the place i was at a few months ago & im happy about it he makes me smile so what more can i ask for right? even though we have thosse few pointless fights we make it through the day and still can say we love each other when its all said and done soo, im glad and i hope shit doesn't hit the fan anytime soon because i'd like some sense of normal right now

but in other news my trip to cuba is so fucked up im pissed off alys & rianne both can't go and GRR thosse were supposed to be my roomies, i guess im going to room with nik & kendra if shit doesnt work out by the end of this week which i doubt it will :[ blah, i also gotta start doing some saving .. gosh its so hard not to spend

so i got a text today from someone i haven't heard from in a while .. derrick .. i missed him .. not enough to call him and ask how he was doing but i did miss him because we were so close .. but anyways he texted me telling me he was coming into town for a few days and that he wanted to see me .. so i said sure .. im looking forward to seeing him he always used to make me laugh :]

but anywhoozers.

im out, PEACE!

i'll keep my memory vague

2008-01-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

"this won't break your heart but i just think it could, cause i haven't tried as hard as i should to seperate you from everything i do"

why do i let shit like this ruin my day fdsajfsdkljsdlfas.
:\

"damnnn, you lotion deficient nigga?"

2008-01-15T15:30:00.000-08:00

so i went to his game today like he asked and i sat with marvin ( i swear he laughs like a chimpanzee ) and hooliaaa :) or julia .. but i like hooliaaa and julian comes and sits on my lap .. this dude needs to lose some weight my leg was all numb by the time i left so anyways julian had some ashy ass elbows so me & julia gave him some victoria secret lotion then marvin's ass wanna come talk about "i dont like lotion"

THIS NIGGAAAAAAAAAA ... so he rolls up his pants sweet baby jesus, i have never seen just horrid looking knees in my life that shit was WHITEEE like not even just a little bit like CHALK WHITE so then julia wants to break out so fucked up story that just kills me laughing

julia: so one time before gym i was changing and my legs were really ashy
me: ... so?
julia: so nicole saw my legs and was like "i feel like i need to lick them to give them some moisture"

all of us: -death

i have never seen a group of people cause such a scene, then i look on the court and i just see nyjill GLARING AT ME :\ .. i just got up and walked my ass outta there, he looked PISSED .. he still hasn't called me yet so i guess hes even more pissed that me & julia just got up like that & left .. ahhwelll .. i'll apologize seeing as how it was kinda fucked up .. BUT I STILL HAD FUN

dimple ass havin motherfuck

2008-01-14T19:33:00.001-08:00

jordan: hey you aint got dimples
me: duh nigga
jordan: i do -purposely shows them off-
me: put that shit away before i rip em off and install them in my face
jordan: bitch ...

so jordan drove me to work today cause it was snowing hella bad, and then we sat in the car outside of my work just sittin there talkin bout random shit he had my ass late by 20 minutes ugh sometimes i can't stand him but hes like my bestest right now cause hes the only one who wants to hear my bullshit ...

my brother is leaving tommorow so his shit is everywhere i look this nigga left his dirty hole filled socks in my room so i was nice and put them in the wash for him :] .. cause i was in a reasonably good mood at that point .. but work put me in a shit one so right now im just playing it off like im happy

so i took pictures of megan in class today with her big ass turtleneck it was funny cause the teacher came over like "put your camera away" and i was like .. "how bout i just turn off the sound?" .. "ok ..." his push over ass dont even try and fight me back anymore cause i mostly win

anywhooo, tommorow is another day and i'm wearing my cute new shirt from PINK eee, i'm cute as fuck dude, anyways PEACE!

i fly like paper get high like planes

2008-01-12T19:07:00.000-08:00

best day of 2008 even though today began with a trip to emerg :]

so i fought my brother for using my phone card to call his little ho ass girlfriend .. I ENDED UP SPRAINING MY DAMN ANKLE :[ he felt bad for me today cause i could barley get on my pants ... literally took me 10 minutes to pull them on and i was almost in tears then i cried when i couldn't get down the stairs so he took me to tim hortons .. i love guilt trips like ferserious. but anywho im mad annoyed with my brother so he needa take his ass back to miami asap.

but today i also went to the bewz house, he was bein such a bitch though his ass thought he was getting might lucky then when he saw my ankle wanted to get all pouty on me "lets go upstairs" .. "nigga ... help me" .. "shouldn't hurt that bad" .. WTFUCKLY it hurts like a bitch so his heartless ass left me chillin in the kitchen with his older sister who just stared at me while i texted chelsie .. awkward .. then he came downstairs and was like "textin your boo?" like fuck off jesus christ .. at that point i just wanted to go home but his sister eventually convinced him to help me up the stairs and stop being such a dirty douche .. man piggy back rides are the best form of transportation like seriously

but anyways we chilled .. and stuff :]

ahhhhaaa, anyways my day was grrreattt i repeat fantasticccalll.

hope you had a supercalafragilistic day darlings peacing out because i have to wake up tommorow and limp around that shithole i call work .. my manager said i could stock for most of the day and probably get sent home early .. SICKNESS!

you lookin sad and lonely

2008-01-11T13:06:00.000-08:00

ugh @ me being the saddest girl in the world these days, no im not fuckin emo i'm just pissed off shit always takes a turn for the worst ALL THE FUCKING TIME i can't catch a break i swear to god, when i think shit is about to turn out exactly how i want i get smacked in the face with some serious bullshit, i thought '08 would turn out better than '07 but seems like i'm getting left with the same shit i did last year.

i miss him im not gonna lie i really do, but i dont even want to talk to him cause its like everytime i get sucked in like some kinda fuckin idiot .. i have more brains than that but with him its a different fuckin story apparently :[

and my ex wanted to be sweet and cute with me yesterday then today act like a complete douche "oh, i was just playin bout takin you on a date .. why we needa date to get back together we been on a bunch " NIGGA CAUSE ITS CUTE :\ blahh, thought he was tryna make an effort guess not eh

goshness i missed lorenzo yesterday i realized how boring people on my list are, hes like thee coolest one i can talk to him bout the most random shit and he still makes me laugh but still i need to gain some new friends to go along with him some of you are gettingg really old & im never on when deondrey is on BLAHFSD, i missed him too :[

062707, bring it back

2008-01-10T18:11:00.000-08:00

so im talking to chelsie as of right now & shes a confused little soul but i mean i understand where shes coming from so i don't mine right now i know who im cheering for .. but its all up to her ..

so after school jordan came and showed me his new tat, its pretty sexy im not gonna lie even though he has got the skinniest arms i have ever seen, i told his ass he looks like the children in the "feed a child" commercials, he just looked at me like i was stupid .. but he knew i was right anyways he took me to college square and i bought a new top even though im supposed to be saving for CUBA i complained in the car so he said he'd donate 30 dollars to my fund .. his weird ass, thinks i want his money ... damn right but i'll just buy some more shit with it

SOOOO i talked to mr.man today and he wants to take me on a date on the weekend i said sure as long as its nothing too corny, and he said that hes never corny he was born smooth i just stared at him like wtf .. and he was like nvm but we talked for a good while without getting snappy or fustrated with each other which we usually do since i couldn't stand him for a while oh well, i'm good now and so is he so hopefully shit will get back to normal cause i missed him :[

ahh p.s he said "we were a good fit, right babe?"

i think i agree :]

i am single ..

2008-01-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

" i am single im going to make the best of it because it doesn't mean i'm not good enough it just means that no one is good enough for me "

the renstuhh

2008-01-06T16:03:00.000-08:00

man lorenzo, is my bewksie man even though hes all old & shit.

:] kiddin boo.

Renz . (06/01/2008 5:36:44 PM): Youre so lame
me (06/01/2008 5:36:53 PM): :\ wtf, go be a nerd.
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:36:56 PM): "Whatcha guys doin I need some friends"
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:36:58 PM): LOL
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:37:02 PM): i cant 'go be a ner'd
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:37:04 PM): i am
me (06/01/2008 5:37:06 PM): i hate you.
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:37:07 PM): :cry2:
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:37:13 PM): I luh you too
me (06/01/2008 5:37:15 PM): like seriously.
me (06/01/2008 5:37:16 PM): go away.
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:37:19 PM):
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:37:21 PM): c'mere
me (06/01/2008 5:37:27 PM): :[
me (06/01/2008 5:37:35 PM): Stop that, with your sexy ass display.
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:37:38 PM): LOL
me (06/01/2008 5:37:42 PM): lmaooo
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:37:45 PM): My display aint een all that sexy
me (06/01/2008 5:37:50 PM): :\
me (06/01/2008 5:37:53 PM): Get outta here.
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:38:55 PM): cammie: Stop that, with your sexy ass display. owrd? I repeat, i was NOT asking her for sex .... [/gm]
me (06/01/2008 5:39:08 PM): LMAO
me (06/01/2008 5:39:20 PM): Im mad that you gotta state that so they don't lock you up.
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:39:21 PM): LOL
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:39:38 PM): I have to lay things out clearly
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:39:47 PM): and by lay, i DONT mean you laying on my bed
me (06/01/2008 5:40:15 PM): ROFLLLLL
Renz . (06/01/2008 5:40:34 PM): Lmao, it cockblocks you

seriously though, when i turn 18 we're havin some sexy ass children.

word, your jealous its ok though.

:]

cheaa, so bored

2008-01-06T15:35:00.000-08:00

rather be called -

01 - babe or baby : babe
02 - sweetie or honey : sweetie

presently -

01 - is your hair wet : no
02 - is your phone near by : yeah
03 - do you miss someone : eh, i guess you could say that
04 - are you wearing chapstick : yeah
05 - are you excited : nope
06 - are you watching t.v : no
07 - wearing pajamas : nope

have you -

o1 -recently done anything you regret : sorta
02 - lied : yeah
03 - put gum under a desk : yes :\
04 - tripped on your own feet : ROFL, no :]

today -

01 - sworn : most likely
02 - yelled at someone : yeah
03 - gotten mad at someone : yes
04 - cried : yes :[
05 - called more than 3 people : no

Q&A -

Q: is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A: yeah

Q: do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
A: doubt it

Q: when did you last cry?
A: earlyyy this morning

Q: song that makes you cry or really emotional?
A: can't think of one

Q: has anyone ever said 'i love you.' to you besides family?
A: yes

Q: if yes do you think they meant it?
A: lmao yeah, i hope so.

have you ever -

01 - fallen off the bed : lmao yeah.
02 - broken someone else's heart : they claim so.

last person you -

01 - hugged : karim
02 - imed : drey
03 - talked to : brother
04 - texted : jarell, like fuckin 3 days ago :\

last -

01 - person you kissed : nyj
02 - time you left the house : this morning

who last -

01 - made you cry : ehhhh.
02 - made you angry : my boss
03 - said something nice to you : .. chelsie, honestly :\
04 - invited you to their house : jordan

no lies - (pfft)

01 - are you currently in love : yeah
02 - do you believe in love at first sight : ehh, i gues its possible
03 - are you bitter : sadly, yes.

taco bell ass voice

2008-01-06T13:17:00.000-08:00

so i kinda sorta missed deondrey we can talk about a whole lot of nothing for a while cause hes so slow .. and mexican, but no seriously though it made me miss the summer hella bad gosh, bonnie & brow we're so cool.

but anywayssss, work today was annoying as fuck almost threw some coffee in one fat bitches face, she had the nerve to complain about some cream .. BITCH YOU ARE ALREADY FAT, AIN'T NO TURNING BACK NOW ! :\ geesh.

but anywho i gotta go to school tommorow dammit, life sucks a whole lotta shit, but break was fun and stuff kinda fucked up in some ways and confusing as hell but it was fun, im kinda glad im going back to school though i'll probably get back to my normal self and stop being so damn stupid

ehhhh, anyways bout to upload more music on this damn phone.

peaceeee.

nawt even, b.

2008-01-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

man these are the times where i need dr.chelsie, i wasn't tryna take anyones advice before cause i thought last time it just got me in a bad situation but im already stuck so might as well ask cause she understands where im coming from, gosh im thankful for that girl.

i was gonna ask ms.jeanri but she wouldn't help me find a cakin bud tryna push me off to some ugly man with a small peeder, then askin me if im gonna phone bone him, lmao no. jeanri is a trip man, her & her mans sleeping penis.

but chelsie is tellin me to back off, i coulda told myself to do that i'm just too stubborn.

ugh, im not the happiest person in the world today

someone needs to give free hugs.

:[

Brand New

2008-01-03T13:53:00.000-08:00

ahh my layout is sexy.

:]

im proud.

Stuck

2007-12-21T17:39:00.000-08:00

i don't know what im gonna do about my situation
i love nyj sooo much but this guy is just .. everything
he says the right things he does the right things its weird
cause i've been close to him for so long but didn't realize this side of him

nyj and i haven't talked about it, he knows that i've been
talking to this other guy but he rather avoid the situation & not
talk to me about it which kills me inside cause i just want him to acknowledge
but on the other hand i dont want him to because maybe how we are is meant to be
and we should just end it sooner rather than later ....

i've mostly been blaming things on him saying he won't let me go
but i realized maybe he is .. maybe this is just his way of doing it
and maybe im the one whos not letting him go .. i don't know
i just want to get the air clear before the new year

-sighhhhhh-

A long time coming

2007-11-04T15:01:00.000-08:00

i don't care.

:]

i'm so happy right now its unbelivable, i'd usually be mad but i just don't care its pretty fuckin amazing

Update

2007-11-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

mannnn, im sick for two days and you people just corrupt each other like this, east vs. west buisness again fuck ... and thosse gms? yo lmao no comment i can't lie cause i laughed at that shit i read jarell's blog .. well im not about to lie i read the last paragraph and he actually said he was gonna take my advice i feel proud that he might actually listen to me :] mann i love that dumby

but anywho, life is pretty good right now i had to work on halloween though but it was an easy shift im working again tonight so i came home to do homework early .. but i still haven't even started that shit i should attempt to do it since it is do tommorow ugh, i really don't want to but i will

the boyfriend is doing good too i love his stupid ass, hes been taking good care of me while ive been sick he even drove me to the doctors :] im happy and nothings about to ruin that

Sickly Child

2007-10-30T15:58:00.001-07:00

im oh so very sick & my baby made me soup

:]

:'[

2007-10-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

You niggaaaaassssssss

y'all are carryin this shit on writin like 20 blogs a day bout some net-fight
who the fuck cares people are gonna talk who gives a fuck ..
i dunno i love all y'all stupid hos but really get over
that shit and stop addressin each other if you have a problem
with one another just don't deal with each other and don't drop
the other persons name in your font .. the end

p.s don't get all pissy @ me for this damn blog
i love you big headed fuckers

Aw Snap

2007-10-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

i got the jacket i wanted and the job

welcome to tim hortons how may i help you
=\

All The Arms Around You Now

2007-10-17T14:10:00.000-07:00

4 months baby, i love you i love you i loveee youuuu.

-insert a million hearts here-

Miserable At Best

2007-10-13T21:44:00.000-07:00

lets not pretend that your alone tonight
i know shes there & your probably
hanging out and making eyes while across the room
you stare i bet she gets the nerve to walk the floor
and ask my boy to dance he'll say yes

because these words were never easier for me to say
or him to second guess but i guess .. that i can live without you
but without you i'll be miserable at best

you were all that i'd hoped to find in every single way
and everything i would have gave is everything you couldn't take
and nothing feels like home your a thousand miles away

fuckin drey

2007-10-13T15:44:00.000-07:00

well you told me to express myself in a blog if i had a problem with something
and i did now you wanna JUDGE MY RACCOON EYES !@#%&*!

well guess what you un-even browed pouty liped mexican food eating sty eye plugged ear motherfucker .....

GO SLAP YOURSELF WITH A SHELF THINGY HO

Oh Deondrey

2007-10-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

your accent is sick-made
you just sound like you work at taco bell

& wtf @ sick-made
i need to gtfo of canada

No Biggie

2007-10-12T14:21:00.000-07:00

Last night was brutal.

My eyes were all red and I hate crying cause I can barley breathe and it was like he didn't even give a fuck. I guess I hurt him worse than I thought. But what the fuck I shoulda known he wouldn't take it as "no big deal".

Think hes the first to actually care .. its nice.

Gotta make it work.

Welcome To The "Break" Life

2007-10-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

welcome back to the semi single life
where cakin every nigga you see won't
get you nothin but a broken heart
cause the nigga you seein full
of some bullshit jealousy

Verbal Diarrhea

2007-10-10T12:31:00.001-07:00

BITCHES ARE NOTHING BUT MOTHERFUCKIN TROUBLE

I've never been so pissed off he's back on this "break" bullshit because now he thinks I lied to him. Why? Because someone I trusted with all my shit and telling her everything wanted to go tell him something she knew was personal. What made her think she had the right. Yes I should tell him shit but what the fuck some things are personal .. like really personal and I thought I could trust her with that. One of the only fuckin people that knew had to go open their mouths. Its really making me wonder who else knows.

So I go up to her and ask her about it and shes like I swear to God I never told anyone else. So I was just like yeah good well you won't be telling anybody else my motherfucking buisness cause you'll never fuckin hear it you ugly twit. And I walked away so fuckin pissed off I would've smacked her face in if I weren't in school. He won't even look at me. Fuck this man I've called his cell like 4 times I ain't bout to beg him to talk to me he can do his thing if he wants I don't give a fuck. But if we break up over this bullshit that chick can kiss our friendship goodbye.

Last night

2007-10-06T14:55:00.000-07:00

So last night was seriously the most fun I've had in a while because lately all I do is surround myself with him and completely forget about my friends. But I went to my friend Chelsey's house and we watched t.v for a while makin fun of these gay ass videos they were playing. Then we talked to Mike & Aaron on the computer and asked them both for a g but Aaron was the one who could get it for us the quickest. Then we walked to Ashley's house cause her parents were gone for the weekend to BF. Once we got to Ashley's it was only like 7:30 so we ate dinner than walked to meet up with Aaron. Once we met up with Aaron we took the g and went back to Ashley's so Erinn could roll. Then we went out and sat on her porch and lit up. Thats the first time I've smoked in about a month. I kind of felt guilty cause Nyj hates that shit with a passion but eh hes gone for the weekend he'll deal with it.

I was so fucked up though eating everything I saw. Thosse cheesy crackers were the shit best cheesy crackers I'd ever had in my life. Even tomato soup was the shit and I hate tomato soup. I drank like 3 cans of sprite. This morning my mouth was dry as shit felt like a desert. I ended up coming home early as hell to watch my sister while my mom went to work and kept falling asleep. But then I just made like a huge ass mug of coffee and drank it so I would stay awake even though I was in such a crappy mood.

I checked my cell because I had it off all night and I had like 10 txts from him askin me to call. Oops. Oh well though I called around noon and he was having fun with his fam or whatever so I told him I'd call him on monday cause tmrow I'm going to turkey dinner.

BLAH.

Good times.

Boring Day

2007-10-06T14:53:00.001-07:00

I got my paintshop back yesterday and I've been playing around with it all day today. Its pretty awesomeeeeee. I can't wait till christmas when I buy the full version even though its expensive as shit. I'm gonna save the damn money for it if I have to.

I just got finished doing a french mani on my nails my left hand looks fresh to death but my left looks kinda junky. I coulda taken the 30 dollars out of my account to go down the street and get it done but I was really too lazy and I had the white polish sittin here anyway, it'll do until next time I really have to go somewhere other than school.

Respect

2007-10-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

Seriously all my respect for you is gone, you really are full of it.
You had people fooled with your insecurity act f'real, I hope history repeats itself and your heart gets extremely torn apart. That shit is well deserved.

Missing numbers

2007-10-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

1. real name → cammie
3. single or taken → taken
4. zodiac sign → sagitarius
5. male or female → female
6. favorite color→ yellow
7. middle name→ ehhh.
8. height → 5'3"
9. eye color → brown
10. hair color → brown
11. long or short → inbetween
15. are you a health freak → no
17. do you have a crush on someone → sortakinda
18. do you like yourself → i love myself
19. piercings you had → ears
20. tattoos → none
1. righty or lefty → righty

FIRSTS :
22. first surgery → ummm none.
23. first piercing → ear
25. first award→ pre-k
27. first pet → dog
28. first vacation → jamaica
30. first crush → lmfao dunno

CURRENTLY :
49. eating → nothing
50. drinking→ nothing
52. i'm about to → do some hmwk
53. listening to → dr.phil
55. waiting for → 7:00
57. wearing → tank top & jogging pants

YOUR FUTURE :
58. want kids → yeah
59. want to get married? → yeah.
60. want a big house? → hmm i dunno

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. lips or eyes? → eyes
69. hugs or kisses? → kisses
70. shorter or taller? → taller
71. intelligent or attraction? → both
72. romantic or spontaneous? → both
73. nice stomach or nice arms? - preferably both
74. career or homebody? → career
75. hook-up or relationship?→ relationship
76. body or mind?→ mind
77. trouble maker or hesitant?→ trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
78. kissed a stranger → nope
80. lost glasses/contacts → no
81. ran away from home → hell no
82. broken any bones → no
84. broken someone's heart → yeah
85. been arrested → nope
86. turned someone down → yes
87. cried when someone died → yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. yourself → yes
91. love at first sight - no
93. Santa Claus → no
94. sex on the first date → no
95. kissing on the first date → yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
97. is there one or more people you want to be with right now?no

98. Isn't that dude Spencer off the hills a total hottie?no

99. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?no

100. Do you like cabbage?no

Dramatic ass life ass niggas.

2007-09-30T15:01:00.001-07:00

Y'all got the most dramatic lives whew, I'd just like to say I'm content with everything. Life is gravy.

Ugh

2007-09-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

So on friday we got into this huge fight and he started yelling at me but whenever people choose to yell at me rather than speak to me in a normal tone I just tune them out, so really I don't know what he was bitching about nor do I care. He has been texting me since then asking me will I drop his ipod & shit he left over here off at football practise for him. His football practice is at 5 I have 20 minutes to decide if I actually want to go and do it, but I think I have already made up my mind that I don't want to like screw him he wants to pick fights over little shit he can come get his shit himself no one told him to throw a hissy fit and stomp out my house slammin doors and shit like that. Man I swear some dudes really know how to act like fuckin 4 year olds sometimes.

I don't really give a damn that hes mad at me, I told him that I wasn't trippin over the situation and then he flipped it on me sayin how I should care and how maybe whats important to him is worthless to me. Well maybe it is if he wanna get that mad for nothing.

-on the phone-

Blah whatever I'm not mad at him anymore.

He's coming to get his shit later. :)

Copycats

2007-09-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKIN HOS COPIN THIS SHIT NOW

UGH

FEEL LIKE IM ON GOD DAMN CRUSHSPOT

MOTHERFUCKERS

ahem
soon i'mma have to get something new
i can't be a part of the giant trend

Perfection

2007-09-22T13:33:00.000-07:00

best performance i've seen, i would have loved to see this live

Seven Deadly Sins

2007-09-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

Wrath

Who did you last get angry with? My boyfriend
What is your weapon of choice? My fist
Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Yes
How about the same sex? Yes
Who was the last person who got really angry at you? My boyfriend
What is your pet peeve? Dumbasses
Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Depends

Sloth

What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't? Make my bed
What is the latest you've ever woken up? 3:00pm
Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? My ex
What is the last lame excuse that you made? Lmfaooo last night
Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? ROFL omg yes.
How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning? Don't own one

Gluttony

What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? I dont fuckin know
Are you a meat eater? Yes
What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? Lmfao no comment
Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits? Yes
Do you enjoy candy and sweets? Yessss
Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods? Sweets
Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"? ROFL WTF NO.

Greed

How many credit cards do you own? One
If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? SHOPPING SPREE!
Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich
Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks? Hell yeah

Pride

What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of? Ummm fuck I dunno
What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of? I got the Principal Award
What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life? Ummm make millions
Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? No
Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Yes
Have you ever cheated to get a better score? Who hasn't?
What did you do today that you're proud of? Stood up for a friend :)

Lust

How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)? ROFL OMG no comment.
How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)? Umm no comment.
Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation? No wtf unless they have like a huge boner.
What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice? Arms
Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons? Like threesomes? Uhh lmfao. No comment.
Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? NO

Envy

What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own? um my friend Emma's car
Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? Chelsey
If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be? Oprah, shes loaded.
Have you ever been cheated on? yes
Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Yeah I wish I had Christina Milian's ass
What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? None.

What deadly sin...

Do you do the most often? Greed

Do you do the least often? Envy

Is your favorite to act on? Lust

Take a look at my boyfriend

2007-09-22T11:22:00.000-07:00

boyfriend/girlfriend name: Nyjill

boyfriend/girlfriend age: 16 (17 next month :D)

do you have pet names for each other: uhh yeah

if so what are they: thats too embarassing

how often do you talk: almost everyday

where did you meet: the movie theatres .. wow & we go to the same school thats weird

why do like this person: that'd take to long to type

do you love this person: yes

has this person ever told they loved you: yes

do you miss this person when they're not around: yes, its pretty pathetic

when is this person's birthday: October 31st

what is their last name: um wtf are you going to attempt to hunt them down?

have you ever wanted to share their last name: um i guess

do you want to break up: no wtf

what day of the week did you meet this person: thursday

does this person know everything about you: pretty much

do you know their middle name: yeah

is this person older older than you: yeah

is this person younger than you: uhh wtf no.

This survey was supergay.

Surveyyy Shmurvay

2007-09-17T13:05:00.000-07:00

Does your body need improvement or is it just fine?
I need a ass implant.

Has anyplace ever asked you to leave?
Yeah not many teachers like my loudness

What topic do you hate to talk about?
Umm ... Wtf I dunno

Can you tell when other people are lying?
Some people.

Should fun or safety come first?
Fun but sometimes safety like if someone told me lets jump off a bridge I'd be like "K you go first" then walk away.

Does mind over matter work for you?
Nope.

What's the most weight you ever lost?
No idea. I don't really lose weight because I don't try to. I'm small enough as it is.

What are your feelings about the punk and goth subcultures?
Punk music is good, but the style and everything just isn't for me.

How often do you shave?
Whenever I need to.

Have you ever used somebody?
Yeah.

Are you ever paranoid?
Over some things.

What is your favorite online game to play?
Ummmm, Sims.

Have you ever intentionally had a one night stand?
Lmfao no. I don't go around like "HEY TONIGHT .. ITS A ONE NIGHT STAND NIGHT"

What is the legnth of your hair?
Medium

Do you tend to get car sick?
Not likely

Have you ever dyed your hair an unusual color?
Never.

What would you PHYSICALLY fight someone over?
Something that I owned or bought with my own money.

What was the last thing you were invited to?
A party.

How long have you ever gone without changing your bed sheets?
I change them regularly I wouldn't know

What item should never be shared?
Toothbrush ew I just thought of something so sickly. Ugh

Do you ever feel the need for MORE than life has to offer?
No. Life has a lot to offer.

Who was the last person to let you down?
Ehh, no one really lets me down just pisses me off.

Did you forgive the last person who hurt you?
Yeah, I forgive easily.

Do most people around you have a positive attitude?
Yeah.

Do you like to gossip?
Hahaha, no comment.

Do you take the easy way out of things?
Oh yeah.

Do you treat people differently based on their appearance?
Fuck, sometimes I feel bad now :(.

When was the last time you were up all night?
Like two weeks ago.

Do you enjoy wasting time?
No.

What do you waste?
Energy.

Does drinking alcohol make you act more like your true self?
No, just a louder more obnoxious version.

Do you ever step back thinking of life's inner meaning?
Lmao no.

Do you stop and smell the roses (so to speak)?
I have my moments.

Do you think more or act more?
Think.

Do you ever think about the price of gasoline?
No.

Should there be a mandatory age to stop driving?
Yeah motherfucking sunday drivers.

Do you listen to your intuitions, feelings and tingly sensations?
Oh yeah, I love tingly sensations.

Do you have any excercise tapes or dvds?
Wtf no.

Do you listen to other people's advice?
Sometimes.

Does the sound of crickets bother you?
Yeah.

Do you sleep with a fan on?
No I hate being too cold.

What is your favorite flavor of chips?
All Dressed.

Do flaws make people interesting to you?
Yeah.

Are you the life of the party?
I've been told I am but I don't agree.

Does Bad hair day equal bad day?
Yes.

What is the best thing about winter?
My birthday

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Never.

What is your most important body part?
Hahahaha, no comment.

When it rains does it sadden you?
Only if I had plans.

How many plants are in your home?
K who counts?

True or false:

1. I have gone further than second base.
True.

2. I blare the music when I'm in the car.
True.

3. One of my worst habits is biting my nails.
False

4. I have wished on a star.
False.

5. I am single.
False.

6. I hate being in real relationships.
False.

7. I've played 7 Minutes In Heaven.
False.

8. I am under the age of 18.
True.

9. I have acne.
False.

10. I've loved someone so much it hurt.
False.

11. I get jealous easily.
False---ish.

12. I'm nice to everyone.
FALSE.

13. My eyes are my best feature.
False.

14. I want to see Shrek the Third.
False.

15. My boyfriend is amazing.
True.

16. I'm fine with being single.
Depends.. Right now I wouldn't be. But if weren't in love with someone then yeah I'd be fine with it.

17. I'm a vegetarian.
FALLLLLSE.

18. At some point, I've lost the will to live.
False.

19. I like wearing leggings under my skirts.
False.

20. I'm a horrible liar.
False.

21. I like rap music.
True.

22. Someone has told me I should be a model.
True.

23. I drink too much water.
False.

24. I'm the youngest in the family.
False.

25. I am stressed out.
False.

26. Kelly Clarkson was the best American Idol.
False.

27. I read the tabloids.
False.

28. I am diabetic.
False.

29. I am truly happy with my life.
True.

30. I like Facebook better than Myspace.
True.

YOUTUBECOVER

Oh Happy Day

2007-09-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

Well I was on the phone with him and then he said he had to go to sleep cause he had football in the morning so I was like ok I'll call you tommorow and I was bout to say bye when he said the fuckin cutest thing someone has ever said to me EVER

Him: Im gonna love you forever kay?

FUCK I LOVE LOVE.
-does carlton dance-
-smiles all in your face-

SONGOFTHEMOMENT

Sick As A Motherfucker.

2007-09-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

I'm so fuckin sick, I feelt like rippin my nose off my face, just rippin it off so it won't be all stuffed and shit.
UGH and every minute I feel like I'm bout to sneeze then 20 minutes later I finally sneeze that shit is fustrating.

But for some reason I like sneezing, feels cool.

So I'm back to being addicted to youtube, I did that for like an hour today it was entertaining since I was sick and bored. I even sung along to hairspray songs. I called my boyfriend and kept sneezing into the phone he kept saying "you bout to sneeze again?" like it was some kind of fuckin guessing game. I was like "no.." and then I'd sneeze anyway. WTF @ THESE SNEEZES COMING OUT OF NOWHERE. I supposedly also sneeze like a mouse or a chipmunk .. wtf, I wanna know if thosse animals actually sneeze ... I'll youtube it.

BLEHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Other than that, life is pretty uhhh whats a word for it cheesy?

WTF @ CHEESY

ROFL I MEANT PEACHY
ROFLLLL Cheesy, omg I laughed and sneezed :[ That felt weird.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT

1234

2007-09-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

So I love this song by Feist called 1234 and I watched a girl on youtube sing the cover
And shes pretty much amazing, love her voice & guitar skills.

Wtf I wish I could sing :(

YOUTUBECOVER

Don't Ever Fix Your Lips Like Collagen

2007-09-11T17:22:00.000-07:00

Eh eh eh ... rewind

Fuck you all
Theres life outside the internet
Fortunatelly for me, I have one.

Done.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT

Why Oh Why Am I So Aggravated

2007-09-11T14:09:00.000-07:00

Hi I'm Cammie btw, I'm not white.

I am black and I'm fuckin proud of it but I don't just listen to hip hop, just talk in a certain way or just dress in one certain way. Fuck, I don't do a lot of things you would stereotypically say "black people do" Im diverse and I like different things. I'm not stuck in one way of life and I like that about myself and if people don't fuck them. They aren't someone I want to be surrounded with. I know people are going to think "Oh this blog was written about Deondrey" but no it wasn't because he probably was just joking, it just started to make me think about how many times someone has said that ignorant shit to me and I just let it slide. Because I don't like getting fustrated cause when I do its bad I start saying shit I don't mean.

But now that I have that off my chest here are the other reasons why I'm pissed. Nyjill came to me yesterday with this "maybe we should take a break" bullshit. And then when I started to look upset he took it back all fast. Yeah I did want him to take it back but wtf I wanna know why he came to me with that. I haven't talked to him since and it hurts fuckin bad knowing this is how it might end. I wanna fix whatever happened. Ugh whatever I really didn't wanna think about that shit.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT

Fourth Drink Instinct

2007-09-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

So me & my friends who just went into our junior year decided to go out drinking at a bush party where a whole bunch of other juniors were going to be we went for about two hours before someone got word that it might be getting busted. While we were there it was pretty fun I had four shots and just talked with people I haven't seen in a while. It was weird not hanging out with my boyfriend but it was fun. My friend Trina was the drunkest of us all, hanging all over guys, screaming, bitching at people. I can stand it just because I know I get like that too. But it was fuckin annoying.

Around 12 we walked over to a park where Josh & Brit were on the swings just chilling but Josh was too high to drive so Brit dropped me off at Nyjill's to see if his parents were home. When we got there he came outside just to say goodnight to me and then Brit dropped Josh off at his house and we walked that long ass walk all the way to her house.

We watched like half an hour of a show and I got a text message from Chelsie saying she was "slo drunk". After Trina had calmed down a bit I called my mom and told her that I was sleeping over at Brit's house. She got all pissed off that I hadn't called her earlier to say that and blah blah. I just ignored her yelling at me and me & Trina walked back home at 1am. Suprisingly my mom didn't hear us both get in and assumed I was still at Brit's house. Oh well it was fun night even though I felt like I was babysitting half the time.

Anywhoooo I won't be drinking again till September 21st. And if I do sooner than that, shame on me.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT

Paramore

2007-09-08T13:14:00.001-07:00

I always have a band that I'll play out for like a month then get extremly tired of them, this month its Paramore. Most people don't favour bands that have a girl as a lead singer. But when I find them which is rare I usually love them. All of their songs have good lyrics & are really catchy. I like their first single Misery Buisness a lot. It reminds me of a situation I had been in once so I can easily relate. I think the girl has a great singing voice and the instrumentals are really good too. Not too loud not too soft.

BANDOFTHEMONTH

Baby It's Fact

2007-09-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Last night I went out to a late dinner with a few of my friends and my boyfriend, since we hang out with different people it was kind of awkward. Most of the dinner we were off together laughing about stuff my friends hadn't head of yet because I spent most of my summer with him and not them. My bestfriend Alyssa really likes him she thinks we're a good match. She's going away for three weeks on tuesday to Italy I'm going to miss her so much because shes really the only girl I get along with really well at my school. Most of the other girls I really don't like. And they know how much I dislike them so its hard to be around them.

Mannn, everytime I try not to think about him like stupid things come on in a song or I see something that reminds me of something he did. Hes my everything right now. Its like I've never been so certain about a guy, and when I was I got completely blindsided. I was actually reading something I had written to that guy its like everything I thought I felt for him was real but with Nyjill its like 98940923840293842093 times stronger. I love feeling that I'm sure and that one part of me isn't praying on a miracle.

My question for you today is do you love life? Are you 100% certain or is there a part of you hoping, wishing that you won't mess it up? Or are you just taking life one step at a time?

Well I do love life, and I know we're all eventually gonna die blah blah blah but right now in this moment I truly believe it can't get better. I'm infinity percent certain. I do take life one step at a time but I wish my heart could stay in this moment forever.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT

Fresh Start

2007-09-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

So I'm starting fresh I'm pretty, happy with life right now. I love my boyfriend my family & my friends. I wouldn't really change anything at this point. Other than the fact that I'm scared I'm going to have a hard time in school this year, but I'm not tooo worried. I'm just going to focus a bit more than I usually do. I never get bad marks it just not great. Right now I'm fed up with my mom though kinda tired of her always talking to me like I'm still 6, when I'm bout to turn 16 in a few months. She needs to let me grow up cause I'm not irresponsible so she shouldn't worry.

My boyfriend right now is pretty much my world I don't know where I would be without him when I'm upset or happy or sad whatever I dial his number first and he always knows how to make me feel better. Hes perfect I never thought I could be this happy. Actually that's a lie I have, and it always ends up in a huge mess. But I don't think I'll regret this. I can't see myself without him.

Anywhoo, that's the blogging for today. I'm probably gonna go out a little later to a movie. I'll blog tomorrow.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT